Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
