The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I want her autograph on my taint
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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