Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
