the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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