On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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