LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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