mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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