We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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