Kiss
Puke
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
