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Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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