making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
