I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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