Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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