Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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