I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
