you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
