What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
