I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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