I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
