She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
