I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
