who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
