I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
