it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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