ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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