We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
