since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
