I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
not ubering you a puppy
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
