I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
