Duck Duck Cougar?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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