i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
No more Irish car bombs ever.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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