You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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