It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
