girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
