I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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