Duck Duck Cougar?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
