Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
