I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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