so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
