I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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