were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
