just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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