Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
