oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
