First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
