Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
