He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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