Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
