Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
