Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And then my night got REAL pukey
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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