i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
