just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
