so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
