Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
