I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
