ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
