So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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