did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
