i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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