drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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