the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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