ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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