I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
