ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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