Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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