A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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