Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
