I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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