rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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