Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
