I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My ass is underappreciated
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
