sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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